Introducing The Marriage Makeover

Emil has been helping couples design and create marriages for over 20 years. A favorite expert guest on radio, tv, and podcasts, Emil is sharing some tips from his online marriage design program "The Marriage Makeover"

"The Marriage Makeover"

The Marriage Makeover is like a season of Netfix with 12 video episodes on how to design and build a custom marriage.

"The Custom House"

Building a custom house isn't the result of hope and a wish. It is the result of careful planning and design along with focused and dedicated work.

"The House without a plan"

What would a house look like if you had no plan. Just an idea of building a house. No architect, no design, no discipline...

"Something you do before building a house?"

What elements or steps are taken before digging the hole, pouring the foundation and nailing wood together?

"The Blueprint of a house?"

After you have determined what you want in your house a blue print or plan is created so the builders can build it the way you want it.

"The Marriage Circle?"

Use the accompanying handout to start brainstorming what you want in your marriage.

"Spouse 2.0"

What are some things you need to do( (NOT YOUR SPOUSE) in order to design and create the marriage you want?

"The Inevitability of Conflict"

Here is a simple model that exposes the inevitability of conflict. No matter how well you figure out what the roles and rules are to create the custom marriage, the reality of human weaknesses guarantees that frustration and disappointments will happen.

"The focus on responding to conflict."

There are three elements to conflict. Bringing things up, (Complaining) Responding, and then hopefully resolving. Right now we are going to talk about the hardest of them all, Responding.

"Fencing Conflict is  responding to conflict."

Using the metaphor of fencing you can understand the ways to respond to the four types of statements of conflict.

"The four statements of conflict."

Their are only 4 types of statements of conflict. 

"Criticisms defined"

"Responding to Criticisms."

"Practice Responding to Criticisms."

"Questions Defined."

"Responding to Questions."

"Declarations Defined."

"Commands Defined."

"Responding to Declarations & Commands."

"Conflict Simplified."

"You" - Criticisms

Request for information ? - Questions

Anything else - Declarations or Commands 

"Fencing Conflict - Practice Time."

"Marriage Makeover Overview." 

"Take Home Highlights." 

"What is the point of conflict resolution?" 

Harvards 75 year longitudinal study on happiness shows that the quality of your primary relationship is one of the biggest indicators of the quality of life.

"What is the point of conflict resolution?" 

Q. What is the most important factor that determines the quality of the primary relationship...?

A. How well the couple can resolve conflict.

Design or default? "What kind of marriage do you want?" 

You came because you want to know how to make your marriage better. This is the best DIY program on the planet and it's ridiculously inexpensive! FREE month trial period when using coupon code "LIFT."

Plus you get my book for FREE!" 

When you sign up for The Marriage Makeover, I'm also going to jump start your makeover with my book "You Can Turn Conflict Into Closeness" endorsed by Dr. John Gottman the worlds leader in marriage research. FREE

Emil Harker MS LMFT

801-543-2120

EmilHarker.com | 240 N. East Promontory Suite 214 Farmington Utah 84025 | 801-543-2120

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